Yo, Book That I WRITE In
by thatisNOTreal
Summary: The crew members of The Atlantic Paranormal Society, stars of the SciFi Network's hit show Ghost Hunters, write in their journals and diaries about a curious series of events.
1. Jason's Dream

Dear Journal,

It's approximately 11:58 p.m., but I am not currently stationed near any clocks so I have yet to prove this fact. I was nestled in my bed, when I looked at the woman beside me and I got a strange feeling that I was not supposed to be here. I drifted off to sleep in about five minutes (the time here can vary, so don't hold me to this) and was carried away by a very curious dream. My stomach was tightened into a firm knot, and the rate of my heartbeat (180, on a strenuous day) roused a unique but familiar feeling inside of me. I was reminded instantly of my first paranormal encounter, but this was much further than out of this world.

I was in a field of sunflowers, on a warm spring day (my thermometer marked a reading of 82 degrees Fahrenheit), when suddenly I found my rods crossed. Dowsing rods that is. A dark shadow approached me, and as the high energy field manifested before my eyes it took the clear form of a man. His face remained shielded from me, but there was something familiar about the way he wore one shirt over the other, and how his scent reminded me of home (one part Febreeze, two parts potpourri).

I reached my hand out to touch him (I had to verify that he was real) but my lingering fingers never met the form. I woke up in a cold sweat, and after a few rapid sighs I braced myself for a cold shower and a hot cup of coffee. I like my coffee like I like my men: ready to hunt ghosts.

Jason


	2. Brian's Girlfriend

Yo, Book That I WRITE In,

My girlfriend called. I was out on a CASE. Steve took my phone from me and he SHUT it. He said "SHE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU, MAN." And I said, "DUDE, WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT WHAT IS AND WHAT ISN'T GOOD FOR YOU?" And then he was like "Dude, I said I know what's good for YOU." And I said, "NO, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT. I SAID 'YOU.'" And he was all, "No, I mean YOU, not ME." And then I was all, "Oh, my bad."

B to the RIAN


	3. Steve's Suspicions

Dear Pamela,

I know you're just a notebook, but sometimes you can shed a lot of wisdom on the crazy antics that are going down here at The Atlantic Paranormal Society. Today Jason came in thirty seconds late. Everyone was shocked. He seemed pretty off for the duration of the day, and I don't mean "off" in the same way that Brian and I are. Some chick called in a new case, but none of us were really feeling in the mood to investigate it. Meanwhile, I was busy thinking about when Brian and I were investigating something else with a pair of handcuffs in my basement.

Anyway, I was fixing my equipment when Grant walked in. He exchanged a few awkward glances with Jay, and then went about his business. I was sensing these extreme vibes long before either of them spoke, but when they did it was only a series of "Umms," "Ers" and "Hand me that wrench," If you know what I mean. It was all a very familiar scene and I knew I had to do some more investigating in this case.

Steve


	4. Brian's Sandwich

Yo, Book That I WRITE In,

I made myself a SANDWICH today. But I had to have TANGO help me out IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN cuz my WRISTS were still sore from the BASEMENT EPISODE. You won't find THAT ONE on the Sci-Fi NETWORK. It's on WHEAT BREAD. And I said "FUCK, I DON'T EAT WHEAT BREAD" and I THREW it at Tango'S FACE. Then my girlfriend called. And I said, "Why aren't you making me a SANDWICH? Tango can't do it worth SHIT!" I gotta go hang out with STEVE. I think he had another ASSignment for me.

B to the RIAN


	5. Tango's Memories

Dear Joy-nal,

I was makin' Brian ta the Max a san'wich an' he threw it at my face. It hoirt real bad! He got mayonnaise in my eye! I went home an' cried. It kinda remoinded me of th' time I got chased by some ghosts. They were scarewy. I kinda think they altered my sense of reality. Some of th' ghosts touched me in placed mommy and daddy said were off limits. I don't like ta be remoinded of these things so I yelled at Brain ta the Max. He just went off ta complain ta Steve though so I was left all alone again.

Things have been kinda weird around here lately. I was playin' tea party with some dollies but all they could talk about was how funny Jay and Grant seems ta be lately. I wonder what's up with dem? Little Jenny thinks that they might have had a lover's quarrel but I said "That's ridiculous!" Then I asked her, "what's a quarrel?" but she's a doll so she didn't know either.

- Dave Tango


	6. Brian's Garden

Yo, Book That I WRITE In,

Today Steve and I planted a GARDEN. It has some CARROTS in it. We thought it would be a nice idea come HARVEST SEASON this FALL. We dug out all the rows CAREFULLY. Then my GIRLFRIEND called. I told her to pick me up some ONION SEEDS. She didn't want to so I HUNG UP ON THAT BITCH. Steve told me, "Good job," and I said "I'LL GET YOU A JOB!" and he said, "I already have TWO!" and I was like "Oh yeah, well then let's go back to HQ." So we DID.

B to the RIAN


	7. Grant's Dream

Dear Diary,

Hold on – I am trying to write very quietly... there is the most precious squirrel stealing seeds out of the birdfeeder on my porch and I would hate to disturb him. He is so adorable!

Alright, he has gone on his merry way. Anyway, I am hoping to gain some insight into events as of late by writing about them. It is important to put your thoughts out on paper to truly see what they mean. I have been having a difficult time with my emotions lately. I had a very curious dream last night, and all day things have been even more baffling. In my dream, I found myself in a gorgeous meadow – I could feel the warm sunlight on my hands as they brushed over the tops of wildflowers. They were Jerusalem artichokes – commonly mistaken for sunflowers.

As I was walking through the field, I felt that the warming sensation of the sun was actually created by a human presence. I had never felt more secure in my life. Eventually, I found the source of that feeling. It was a man. Dare I say who I recognized him to be? I do not know if I am ready to interpret this dream. After an awkward, silent day at work, Jason and I have agreed to go out for Margaritas later. Hopefully all of this will begin to make sense when I am able to talk with my best friend about it.

Love,  
Grant


	8. Brian's Peaches

Yo, Book That I WRITE In,

Today I went to an awesome MOVIE. And it had a DRAGON in it. And some dungeons. And then my GIRLFRIEND called. And she wanted some PEACHES. And I said "FUCK PEACHES". And she said "NO FUCKING ANYTHING. And I said "WHAT ABOUT STEVE?" And she said "…What?" And I said "NEVERMIND." And then I went back to HQ and Steve was there and we ate some COOKIES and there was KOOL-AID.

B to the RIAN


	9. Jason's Night Out

Dear Journal,

Grant and I have always made an efficient team, but yesterday our productivity level at work dropped drastically. After I compared our daily accomplishments with the meticulous records I keep on file in my office from days prior, I became concerned. On average, we can fix 5.7 leaking pipes, unclog 16 toilets, and recover three wedding rings lost in the garbage disposal in a day. Yesterday, our averages simply did not match up.

My mind was still in a haze from the dream I'd had the night before, but I began to suspect something might also be troubling Grant. In order to save our friendship, I invited him to an eating establishment with Latin cuisine of some sort. I think the proprietors are Mexican, or possibly Guatemalan – I will need to double-check my facts. They spoke with a hint of a South American dialect, but I can't pinpoint it by ear.

Grant and I briefly discussed TAPS business. Morale doesn't seem to be high enough to investigate at this moment – we like it to be at least a good 77%. Soon, as our first round of Margaritas diminished (mine was splashed with iodized salt, not rock salt, which I prefer, and thus was disappointed), we began to get to the heart of what came between us. Things were said. Words were had. I am still not able to talk about what happened afterward. I suppose I should speak with my wife soon. In approximately 43 minutes I will.

Jason


	10. Brian's Soap

Yo, Book That I WRITE In,

Today I paid my PHONEBILL. There was a lot of charges from my GIRLFRIEND. I said, "FUCK THAT. She needs to PAY MY BILL." So I called HER but for some reason my PHONE didn't WORK. I was out of MINUTES. So I got a CARRIER pigeon. But it wasn't a carrier pigeon.

B to the RIAN

P.S. It was just a bar of DOVE soap.


	11. Steve's Equipment

Dear Pamela,

Despite all the weirdness, I actually got a lot of things done at work the other day – and I don't just mean things like Brian. Tango and I have been working very closely together on some tech stuff and it's really nice to have a partner who is actually, uh, competent. He's always eager and willing to please and seems to have arranged and named all the different DVR cameras and voice recorders.

I was testing one of our thermal imaging cameras when I walked in on something I hadn't expected – a hot spot. It turned out Tango was changing in the equipment closet. I don't know what's up with that guy, but he apparently wears pink underwear with cowboy boots and lassos on it. It may have just been the thermal imaging camera malfunctioning, but Tango was looking pretty hot.

I tried to invite Brian over to work on our home movies, but he wouldn't get off the phone with his girlfriend. Fuck that guy. Or don't.

Steve


	12. Brian's Theory of Evolution

Yo, Book That I WRITE In,

Today Steve was being a major JERK. He kept taking my PHONE away from me. So I stole HIS and racked up a lot of DAYTIME CHARGES. Then my GIRLFRIEND called. I told her that I think we should take it to the next LEVEL. She said, "Are you asking me to MARRY you?" And I said, "NO, bitch. I'm talking about THREESOMES." And she said "THREE WHAT?" and I said "three THUMBS. It's the next stage of human EVOLUTION." She said that would be cool.

B to the RIAN


	13. Tango's Feelings

Dear Joy-nal,

I've got a funny feelin' in my chest. My mommy said this would happen ta me when I got older, but I didn't buhleev her. First my voice was changin' an' now dis? It's plum confusin'! But I kinda like it. Da only ting that eva felt like dis before was when my stuffed aminal Marmalade told me he loved me!

Jason an' Grant went out last night an' they was laughin'. I'm glad they are getting along again. Brian ta the Max threw my bracelet in the toilet they was fixin' earlier though. I got real mad and hit him but he said he couldn't feel nothin' I was doin'. So I cried on Steve's shoulder and he made me feel awl better. He even gave me a lolly!

- Dave Tango


End file.
